In Islam, the importance of family is immense. Today, as our families are becoming fragmented and we face numerous problems due to the lack of strong bonds, Islam has already provided solutions for us. Unfortunately, due to our lack of Islamic knowledge, we fail to understand and find the right solutions. Islam places great emphasis on family bonds because many aspects of our lives are directly connected to them. One primary reason is that the family is considered the most significant and essential primary education center. It is within the family that our initial learning begins, which later helps us become true human beings. From the family, we first learn about good and bad, honesty and falsehood, ethics and immorality, and all other fundamental aspects. Based on this knowledge, we apply these principles in our real lives. Hence, Islam, like all other matters, has established specific guidelines for family bonds. In today’s post, I will attempt to briefly present these guidelines to you, Insha’Allah.

As always I seek refuge in Allah Almighty from all kinds of harm and pray that He makes my work easy. I also pray that He considers this effort a means of salvation for us in this world and the hereafter. Whatever is good in my writing is entirely a blessing from Allah Almighty, and any faults are due to Satan (Devil) and my own lack of knowledge. JazakAllah. (Thank you).

Islam and Family 

The importance of family in Islam is immense. Before understanding the rulings Islam has provided about family, we need to have a good understanding of what family truly means. Defining something that is established in society is very difficult. This holds true for the concept of family as well. We all understand what a family is because it is a fundamental truth and deeply connected to us, so I don’t feel the need to reintroduce it to you.

However, the extent of what constitutes a family might vary for different people. For some, a family includes parents, siblings, grandparents, and other blood relatives from both the father’s and mother’s side. For others, it may simply mean parents and children. Everyone has their own valid perspective. Since the concept of family is extensive, for the sake of this discussion, I will refer to a family as comprising parents and children, including the husband and wife because they are the core of a family. Today, I will discuss these three types of individuals. Based on this, you will become more aware of the importance of other family members and your responsibilities and duties towards them. You will also try to fulfill these responsibilities accordingly.

Family is a special blessing from Allah Almighty, given to us out of His mercy. However, we often forget that, alongside being a blessing, family is also an amanah (trust) from Allah. We do not always give due importance to how we should protect and honor this significant trust. Just as parents have responsibilities towards their children, children also have significant duties towards their parents. Beyond these duties, family encompasses a unique love and emotion that provides us with a sense of peace and connection. Sometimes, excessive love and emotions can lead to harm both in this world and the hereafter. Therefore, we must balance this blessing and trust in accordance with Allah’s commands to maintain strong family bonds. We must strive to build an ideal Islamic family. Allah Almighty commands us to save ourselves and our families from Hellfire. He says in the Holy Quran:

• يٰۤاَيُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْا قُوْۤا اَنْفُسَكُمْ وَاَهْلِيْكُمْ نَارًا وَّقُوْدُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُوْنَ اللّٰهَ مَاۤ اَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُوْنَ مَا يُؤْمَرُوْنَ  “O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from a fire, the fuel of which is human beings and stones, appointed on which are angels, stern and severe, who do not disobey Allah in what He orders them, and do whatever they are ordered to do.”[¹]

Additionally, to emphasize the importance of family bonds, Allah says in Surah An-Nisa:

• يٰۤاَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوْا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِيْ خَلَقَكُمْ مِّنْ نَّفْسٍ وَّاحِدَةٍ وَّخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيْرًا وَّنِسَآءً ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللّٰهَ الَّذِيْ تَسَآءَلُوْنَ بِهٖ وَالْاَرْحَامَ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيْبًا   “O men, fear your Lord who created you from a single soul, and from it created its match, and spread many men and women from the two. Fear Allah in whose name you ask each other (for your rights), and fear (the violation of the rights of) the womb-relations. Surely, Allah is watchful over you”.[²]

From these verses, we clearly understand the significance of family bonds. I am aware that there are many other verses in the Quran that discuss the importance of family, but I will not mention them here. Later, I will share some Hadiths that highlight the responsibilities of family members towards one another. But before that, let me introduce the most important member of the family. You have probably guessed by now – it is none other than our mother.

Islam and Family: Importance of Parents

However, before diving into that, I would like to present some general verses and Hadiths that emphasize the importance of both parents. Later, I will discuss the individual significance and rights of both the father and the mother. Allah Almighty states in the Holy Quran about the importance of parents:

• وَاعْبُدُوا اللّٰهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوْا بِهٖ شَيْئًا وَّبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ اِحْسَانًا…  “Worship Allah, and do not associate with Him anything, and be good to parents….”[³]

• وَوَصَّيْنَا الْاِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا ؕ وَاِنْ جَاهَدٰكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِيْ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهٖ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ؕ اِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَاُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِمَا كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُوْنَ   “We have instructed man to do good to his parents. And if they insist upon you that you should ascribe partners to Me, then do not obey them. To Me is your return; then I shall tell you what you used to do.”[⁴]

• وَقَضٰي رَبُّكَ اَلَّا تَعْبُدُوْۤا اِلَّاۤ اِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ اِحْسَانًا ؕ اِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ اَحَدُهُمَاۤ اَوْ كِلٰهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَّهُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَّلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيْمًا وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيٰنِيْ صَغِيْرًا ؕ   “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and do good to parents. If any one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not scold them, and address them with respectful words, and submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion, and say, “My Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood.”[⁵]

From these verses, we learn about the significance of parents. Now, let us look at some Hadiths where the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gives various directives to emphasize the importance of both parents:

• Abu ‘Amr ash-Shaybani said, “The owner of this house (and he pointed at the house of ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud) said, “I asked the Prophet, (ﷺ), which action Allah loves best. He replied, ‘Prayer at its proper time.’ ‘Then what?’ I asked. He said, ‘Then kindness to parents.” I asked, ‘Then what?’ He replied, ‘Then jihad in the Way of Allah.'” He added, “He told me about these things. If I had asked him to tell me more, he would have told me more.”[⁶]

• ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar said, “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent.”[⁷] 

• ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said, “A man came to the Prophet, (ﷺ), and made a pledge to him that he would do hijra. He left his parents who were in tears. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ‘Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.”[⁸] 

From these Hadiths, we also understand the significance of both parents and our duties towards them. Now, I will try to discuss in detail the individual responsibilities we have towards each parent, as well as who among them deserves more love and duty. May Allah make my task easy 

Islam and Family: Mother

The most important and cherished member of a family is the mother. What more can I say about mothers that you don’t already know? Each person’s mother is unique and, to them, the best in the world. So, I won’t attempt to write extensively on this topic. Instead, I will share a few verses from the Holy Quran and some Hadiths of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that highlight the importance and responsibilities towards our mothers. These verses and Hadiths will guide us on how to fulfill our duties towards our mothers and increase our love and respect for them. Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran, about Mother:

• وَوَصَّيْنَا الْاِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ اِحْسٰنًا ؕ حَمَلَتْهُ اُمُّهٗ كُرْهًا وَّوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ؕ وَحَمْلُهٗ وَفِصٰلُهٗ ثَلٰثُوْنَ شَهْرًا ؕ حَتّٰۤي اِذَا بَلَغَ اَشُدَّهٗ وَبَلَغَ اَرْبَعِيْنَ سَنَةً ۙ قَالَ رَبِّ اَوْزِعْنِيْۤ اَنْ اَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِيْۤ اَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلٰي وَالِدَيَّ وَاَنْ اَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضٰهُ وَاَصْلِحْ لِيْ فِيْ ذُرِّيَّتِيْ ۚؕ اِنِّيْ تُبْتُ اِلَيْكَ وَاِنِّيْ مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِيْنَ   And We have enjoined upon man to do good to his parents. His mother carried him with difficulty and delivered him with difficulty. And his carrying and his weaning is (in) thirty months, until when he attains his maturity and reaches forty years, he says, “My Lord, grant me that I offer gratitude for the favour You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I do righteous deeds that You like. And set righteousness, for my sake, in my progeny. Of course, I repent to you, and truly I am one of those who submit to You.”[⁹]

• وَوَصَّيْنَا الْاِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ ۚ حَمَلَتْهُ اُمُّهٗ وَهْنًا عَلٰي وَهْنٍ وَّفِصٰلُهٗ فِيْ عَامَيْنِ اَنِ اشْكُرْ لِيْ وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ ؕ اِلَيَّ الْمَصِيْرُ   “We commanded man (to be good) in respect of his parents. His mother carried him (in her womb) despite weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. (We said to man,) “Be grateful to Me, and to your parents. To Me is the ultimate return.”[¹⁰]

Now, let’s look at some Hadiths that describe the significance of mothers:

• Abu Hurayra said, “The Prophet (ﷺ) was asked, ‘Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. He was asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. He was asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. He was asked, ‘Then whom?’ He replied, ‘Your father.”[¹¹] 

• ‘Ata’ ibn Yasar said that a man came to Ibn ‘Abbas and said, “I asked a woman to marry me and she refused to marry me. Another man asked her and she agreed to marry him. I became jealous and killed her. Is there any way for me to repent?” He asked, “Is your mother alive?” “No,” he replied. He said, “repent to Allah Almighty and try to draw near Him as much as you can.” So I went and asked Ibn `Abbas why he inquired about the man’s mother. He replied:  “I don’t know of a deed closer to Allah, Exalted and Majestic, other than dutifulness to the mother.”[¹²] 

From the above verses and Hadiths, we understand the immense importance of mothers in our lives and the respect and responsibilities we owe them as children. Fulfilling these duties will help us become good children. May Allah grant us the ability to treat our mothers well and fulfill our responsibilities towards them. May He bless our mothers with long, healthy lives and grant Jannah to those who have passed away. Ameen.

A Mother’s Responsibility to Her Child

From the previous discussion, we have learned how to respect and love our mothers and understand our duties towards them. However, it is equally important to understand a mother’s responsibilities towards her child. A mother is the primary teacher in a child’s life, shaping their character and values. 

You may be familiar with Napoleon’s famous statement, “Give me an educated mother, and I will give you an educated nation.” This emphasizes the crucial role a mother plays in the education and upbringing of a child. It is important for mothers to recognize that their children are both a blessing and a trust from Allah. Islam provides guidance on how a mother should fulfill her responsibilities towards her child.

It is natural for a mother to love her child immensely, but excessive love can sometimes lead to problems in both this world and the hereafter. Let me give you a simple example to illustrate this point. Suppose you are a mother with a 17-year-old son. As Muslims, both you and your son are obligated to pray. However, out of love, you may hesitate to wake your son for Fajr prayer, thinking that he is sleeping peacefully. Even though you know that praying is obligatory, your love prevents you from waking him. This behavior, though driven by love, can harm both you and your son in the hereafter.

In such situations, you must demonstrate responsible behavior by controlling your love that could lead to harm. Instead, follow the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) to raise your child properly. Teach them the fundamentals of Islam, its pillars, and the importance of obeying Allah and His Messenger. If you lack knowledge, seek resources that can provide your child with the correct Islamic education. By doing so, you will fulfill your role as a responsible mother and ensure that your child grows up with a strong understanding of Islam.

Islam and Family: Father

Having discussed mothers extensively, let’s now turn our attention to fathers and their role in the family.

A father is a crucial pillar of the family, an indomitable soldier in the battles of life. Just as mothers, I dare not say too much about fathers. However, you must note that many of the verses and Hadiths mentioning the importance of mothers also emphasize the significance of fathers. Moreover, the verses and Hadiths previously cited concerning parents collectively highlight the importance of fathers. Therefore, I won’t reiterate those here. Instead, I’ll share only one Hadith that specifically emphasize the importance of fathers.

• Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, (ﷺ), said, “A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and the buys him and sets him free.”[¹³] 

Now if I were to describe a child’s responsibilities towards their father, I would say it includes showing respect and love, following his guidance as long as it aligns with Islamic principles, never mistreating him, and constantly praying for him. These are also applicable equally over our mothers. I Know there are many ways a child can fulfill their father’s rights. To keep this post concise, I won’t delve into all these aspects, but I encourage you to explore them further on your own.

May Allah grant our fathers healthy, beautiful, and blessed lives, and for those whose fathers have passed away, may He grant them a place in Jannatul Firdaus.

A Father’s Responsibilities to His Child

A father’s responsibilities towards his child are quite similar to those of a mother. Though there are differences in some aspects, I trust you can discern them on your own. Instead of listing these responsibilities again, I will share an example of an exemplary father who gave his son beautiful advice, which was so significant that it is mentioned in the Holy Quran. In Surah Luqman, he says:

• (Remember) when Luqmān said to his son, while he was advising him, “My dear son, do not ascribe partners to Allah. Indeed, ascribing partners to Allah (shirk) is grave transgression. 

• We commanded man (to be good) in respect of his parents. His mother carried him (in her womb) despite weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. (We said to man,) “Be grateful to Me, and to your parents. To Me is the ultimate return. However, if they force you to ascribe partners to Me about whom you (can) have no (source of) knowledge, then do not obey them. Remain with them in this world with due fairness, but follow the way of the one who has turned himself towards Me. Then, towards Me is your return, so I shall tell you what you had been doing.

• (Luqmān went on saying to his son,) “My dear son, in fact, if there be anything to the measure of a grain of rye, and it be (hidden) in a rock or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Surely, Allah is All-Fine, All-Aware.

• My dear son, establish Salāh , and bid the Fair and forbid the Unfair, and observe patience on what befalls you. Surely, this is among the matters of determination;

• And do not turn your cheek away from people, and do not walk on the earth haughtily. Surely, Allah does not like anyone who is arrogant, proud;

• And be moderate in your walk, and lower your voice. Surely, the ugliest of voices is the voice of the donkeys.”[¹⁴]

These verses contain wonderful advice and are among my personal favorites. If you follow such guidance, you will certainly be on the right path.

Responsibilities Between Husband and Wife

Now, I would like to briefly discuss the relationship between husband and wife, as a family cannot be imagined without them. Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran about husbands and wives:

• وَمِنْ اٰيٰتِهٖۤ اَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِّنْ اَنْفُسِكُمْ اَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوْۤا اِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَّوَدَّةً وَّرَحْمَةً ؕ اِنَّ فِيْ ذٰلِكَ لَاٰيٰتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَّتَفَكَّرُوْنَ   “And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.”[¹⁵]

• اُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ الصِّيَامِ الرَّفَثُ اِلٰي نِسَآئِكُمْ ؕ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَاَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ…  “It is made lawful for you, in the nights of fasts, to have sex with your women. They are apparel for you, and you are apparel for them…”[¹⁶]

Additionally, various Hadiths describe the love, respect, and responsibilities husbands and wives have towards each other. Here are a few such narrations:

• It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that: the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.”[¹⁷] 

• Abu Hurairah narrated that The Messenger of Allah said: “The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character among them. And the best of you are those who are best to your women.”[¹⁸] 

From these verses and Hadiths, we get an idea of how a husband and wife should treat each other. To simplify, an ideal husband can model himself after Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) because he is the perfect example for us. Similarly, an ideal wife should look up to the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him) as their best role models.

We must remember that the behavior, respect, and love between husband and wife greatly influence their children. Therefore, it is crucial to act with utmost care, especially in front of the children, as they learn by observing us. As a husband or wife, we need to be particularly attentive when raising children to avoid future family discord.

Responsibilities of a Child in a Family

I have already discussed various responsibilities of a child within a family throughout this post. Hence, I will not extend this post further. However, I must emphasize that as children, it is our duty to treat our parents with kindness and pray for their well-being constantly. This responsibility does not lie solely on the children; all family members should consistently pray for each other’s well-being, as prayer to Allah strengthens the love among family members. You can read my post where I have mentioned many prayers concerning family in the section of Du’a And Dhikr. Here is the post,  Du’a For Family.

In conclusion, I end this post by praying for the well-being of my family and all of yours. May Allah grant endless blessings to all the members of our families in this world and the Hereafter and protect us from all kinds of harm. Ameen. JazakAllah Khair.